Giraffe Field Trip - Day 1

"Teacher Andrew, do you want to come on the Giraffe overnight field trip with the kids? We have no classes next week."

(Thoughts of kids running around widly in a strange place, smelly bus ride, responsibility of any kind)

"I'm don't know, sounds a little..."

"You don't have to pay for meals and we'll be going to a hot spring."

"Er...what time do we leave?"

I'm a pushover, really. But I'm also really loyal; if my boss asked me to fight a panda with bamboo sticking out of my underwear, I'd do it. Nervously, I accepted the invitation. Besides, what can go wrong from Monday morning until Tuesday night five hours away from Taipei in an unfamiliar place not being able to read or speak the local language with thirty excitable children who have been given freedom on a level never before experienced trying to be corralled by a foreigner who is more like Bobo the circus clown? Don't answer that...

Wake up early, get on a bus, hold on to your butts. Taiwanese love taking tours, a real lot. In fact, all you do is call a tour operator, tell them where you want to go with how many people, and you are finished. Sure I'm a bit tired from last night, but three hours on a coach bus tucked away in the last row should grant me some level of rest. Wrong. The tour operator began the morning announcements in Chinese, a little "welcome, hey, don't touch that" kind of introduction I imagine. And then the plan for the day. And then his life history. And then his stand-up comedy routine. And then a reading from his memoirs. And more stand-up comedy. This went on for 86 minutes, no exaggeration because I timed it.

Destination #1:Cingjing Recreational Farm

Renai Township, Nantou County

The bus lumbers up winding cliff side roads. Passing native forests, through towering gorges, you can immerse yourself in the fresh air and wild scenery. Situated 1,800 meters above sea level (around 5,900 feet), the hillside restored my energy and cleansed my lungs of scooter air I've been huffing in Taipei for months. But if natural beauty isn't what you're looking for, you can always pester the sheep. A herd of about 70 docile sheep roam the hills of the farm, only quickening pace to avoid the over anxious kids who try ride on top of them. True to the name, this place is a farm with a few small groves of fruit trees, shaggy sheep and a small petting zoo filled with nervous rabbits.

But first, a performance! "YIPEEEE KAAY YA!" Enter pumped up white guy on a horse swinging a whip. No not Indiana Jones. And sadly, he spoke only Chinese throughout the show, showoff. Cowboy Wayne (or something) started off the show by wrasslin' up a small herd of the bored sheep, creating a stampede of minor proportions. "Hi ho silver, awayyyy!" Wayne parades them around the audience of the outdoor stage with his wireless mic, eventually leading them into a pen off to the side. A few more whip cracks, a lot more Chinese and one shaved sheep later, I'm quite amused.

After the performance, the group gathers, all sheep remain unharmed. Our tour guide leads us to the other end of the park where there is a small "Swiss" garden. In the flowerbeds were animals, structures, fences, windmills, pinwheels and more made completely out of corrugated paper. I was finally able to ride a sheep, however my White Lightning remained stationary no matter how loud I shouted "GIDDY UP!"

More to come...